Optimism vs. Pessimism

Some people see the glass as half empty. Others see it as half full. But is it really as simple as that? Is it possible to be a bit of both? What are the advantages and disadvantages to both? Maybe there is more to both mind-sets.

When you think about it, most people tend to be an optimist sometimes and a pessimist other times. Ironically, a lot of times things turn out how the people tend to feel about them. If a person feels like something will go well or feels optimistic about it, it usually seems to go well. The same is true of the reverse. When someone feels like something will go badly, it tends to do just that.

So why is this?

Henry Ford once said, "If you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right!" Does this mean that what we think about, whether positive or negative, tends to happen? The only answer that I can really give to that is yes, but very basically. We cannot simply think things into existence, no matter how optimistic we are, if that is all we do. And when it comes down to it, that's not really optimism, but delusion.

But then is there any real difference between pessimism and optimism if, when it comes down to it, the results aren't any different? The short answer is yes, with an added but.

Pessimism will tend to lead to bad outcomes, whether it is because you just think things will turn out poorly and thus do not take any action, or because the pessimism will color your actions and choices and as a result you tend to do things that will make the result what you expected, the bad outcome.

Now where the but comes in with optimism is that the mere act of thinking either optimistically or pessimistically will for the most part produce not much difference in outcome, with perhaps a slight edge to the optimist. However, when you add positive, productive action to that optimism, this is when truly amazing things can happen. You can be as optimistic as you want that you will find a way to get the money for that new car or new house, but unless you are including the productive action that helps to push things to that end, you will never get there. The difference between only thinking optimistically and thinking optimistically while acting in a productive manner is kind of like saying to an empty fireplace "Give me warmth and then I will put some wood in you".

I once knew a woman who always said, "I would rather expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised on the rare occasion when good happens than be disappointed all the time". This pessimistic attitude of hers has brought her nothing but misery and strife, and yet she still thinks it has nothing to do with her. She does not realize that her pessimism is coloring her entire life and making the bad things she expects to happen actually happen. My response to her was always, "I would much prefer to expect the best and enjoy what life gives me than to constantly worry about how bad things are." For a long time, we had the same results. Then I realized that I needed to do my part and put positive, productive action behind my thoughts. And while I am not where I want to be yet, I have moved much closer to it and have been much happier along the way.

So I would say to you: be optimistic! Expect the best out of life! Expecting the best out of life is better than being miserably pessimistic. Above all though my optimistic friend, don't forget to do your part to not just think but also act optimistically.

The Three Pillars of Self Confidence

The search for true self confidence leads all of us in different directions. We all desire the magic pill that will instantly bring us the qualities and personality of someone with true self confidence. Confidence is not something that can be acquired simply by reading multiple self help books. It can not be acquired by taking action one day and then deciding it did not work. It certainly will not be acquired by sitting around imagining yourself with it. True self confidence will only become a fabric of you through repeated education, experience and faith.

The first pillar of self confidence is education. My first instinct to acquiring self confidence was to read books and listen to CDs about it. The next level of education started when I persistently asked those who already had it how they achieved it. I found educating myself through books, CDs and other�s personal experiences immediately gave me the foundation. The most important step in the education process was to only apply my learning to one area of my life. For example, I wanted self confidence in my profession which was sales and marketing. I read books on finding prospects and closing deals. I also asked the most successful marketing and sales professionals how they handled certain situations. Be specific when you start the learning process. We all want self confidence in all areas of our life whether it is relationships, career or physical appearance. Amazingly, once you start to educate yourself in a specific context, you will see that you can apply it to all areas of your life.

The second pillar of self confidence is experience. A more direct way to state this is take action. We have all been guilty of educating ourselves and suddenly realizing we have made a great discovery. The problem that most of us have is once we acquire the information we fail to take action on it. I will be the first to admit this. Do the action that will bring you confidence. If you are in sales and you have a problem closing deals with your prospects, ask for the sale. If you want to ask out some one on a date, simply ask for the date. Remember, the result is not what is important. In the short term, it does not matter if the person says yes or no. If you do get a yes, your self confidence will immediately get a boost. If you get a no, you will gain valuable experience that will help you the next time you ask. Failure is the most important element of experience. Read this sentence again. Those with the greatest self confidence still fail more often in their life than succeed. Accept failure as a stepping stone to unwavering self confidence. The reason is once true self confidence is attained; the mind no longer looks at results as failure but rather opportunity.

The third pillar is faith. Faith is that power that can not be measured like education and experience. Faith is an ingredient, when accepted, that will take you to higher levels not even imagined. I am not talking about blind, unprepared, careless faith. I am talking about educated, prepared and confident faith. True faith will be accomplished when you take action against your fears. You will know when you have real faith because you will thirst the knowledge, experiences and situations you once dreaded. You will no longer fear rejection, embarrassment or failure. Your faith will drive you through these fear thoughts. They will no longer be looked at as barriers but rather simple challenges that will only make you better in the long term.

Remember that all three pillars of self confidence have to be practiced and executed consistently. Faith breeds action. If you don�t believe, you will not take action. Education without experience is useless. If you do not take action, you will not learn. Work on all three pillars simultaneously in your daily life now and take the first step to true self confidence.